(short & sweet)
house of pleasures
(longest & lascivious)
what are you, nuts? no one should spend this much time with me
want to annoy the hell out of each other and bicker like an old married couple in a different city? email me to hash out details!
in the mood for love
you've got mail
get-to-know-you half-hour coffee
I know what you're thinking, how does a middling escort like Angie Harwhatever have the gall to charge this much? Please note that my rates are not reflective of what my time is worth - it's indubitably worth much less - but rather representative of the time I currently have to dedicate to this hobby (a couple of hours a week, if I'm lucky). I understand that I am asking for a considerable financial commitment, so you can bet your ass that if you book me for an hour, I will suck your dick like the depraved and debaucherous sex fiend that I am for 59 minutes and 59 seconds to make sure you get your money's worth. Please practice super speed showering prior to our rendez-vous.
at home dates
The doors at Chez Angie are always wide f**king open, pandemic be damned. Let's shack up at my place or yours and enjoy some inside (heh) jokes. Some stay-at-home date ideas: I use you as my mixology guinea pig (I've been shaking and stirring my way through this pandemic), I fix us a candlelit dinner (did I actually cook or did I order in and transfer into a Dutch oven? We'll never know), we actually order in, we battle it out in a competitive game of Scrabble or 2-player poker, we Netfix and chill (emphasis on the chill), we picnic by the lake (I'll bring snacks, you bring the wine)... possibilities are (well, not endless, but) many!
If this is our first time meeting, I am happy to schedule a half-hour coffee break & walk in the park so we can get to know each other and see if there is any chemistry.
For subsequent social dates, we can go on a hike to the Brickworks or the Bluffs, go on a bike ride, pack a picnic, or enjoy dinner on my balcony. In case the world ever opens back up, I also love spa dates, wine tastings/pairings, food tours, art galleries & art shows, concerts, sporting events, casinos, and workshops so we can add obscure skills like chocolate making, bike building, or knife throwing to our resumes.
If you are stranded in another country or hesitant to schedule an in-person date (and somehow not zoomed-out more than a year into the pandemic), shoot me an email about arranging a virtual date.
Please note that this will be a social date, meaning that I will throw on some lingerie and we can get to know each other over a glass of wine (or your drink of choice). Beyond playful banter and tasteful innuendos, this is as lewd as I will be over video call. I do not offer X-rated video chat as virtual eroticism is really outside of my qualifications & comfort zone. I assure you that we would both leave such an interaction feeling disappointed.
At the moment, I am available for travel within Ontario. I hope to start travelling within Canada, the United States, and Europe sometime this summer, when restrictions ease up.
To confirm a fly-me-to-you booking, I kindly ask for an e-transfer to email@example.com or bitcoin deposit (25% of the donation, plus airfare and hotel fees).
- All donations listed above are in CAD. I accept cash, e-transfer, and bitcoin. Travel to the US is subject to the same rates in USD (1:1 ratio).
- If we have never met, I kindly ask for a deposit of 25% for bookings of 6 hours or longer (I accept e-transfers and Bitcoin). In the event that I need to cancel our date, you will of course be fully refunded.
- If we meet in a public setting, please place your donation in a greeting card, book, or gift bag. I keep every card I receive - feel free to share a favorite quote with me if you are at a loss for something to write.
- I offer a sliding scale for women, transfolx, and fellow providers, please get in touch for further info.
- In the event that your hotel or residence is located outside the retail core, I kindly ask for my transportation to be covered.
- Three's a CDC endorsed party! I love spending time with couples, and am invested in making our encounter a memorable experience for both of you. I defer to the lady for guidance on my role, and insist on speaking with her ahead of our rendez-vous. There is no additional donation requested for couples.
- I'm more of a fuck-late-into-the-night than a fuck-all-night kind of gal, and as such, kindly ask for 7 hours of uninterrupted slumber so I can be properly rested for morning mischief (lest you share your morning coffee with Harlowe the Grouch).
- I depend on fitness and exercise to keep me sane and to stay thicc, and will be dragging you out for a daily jog (or any other high intensity cardio of your choosing) if spending more than 24 hours together. Alternatively, I can leave you handcuffed to the bed while I get my endorphin fix, and come back for cardio round 2 in bed.
To set up a date, please send me an email and tell me a bit about yourself! You can also include dates that you are available, desired date length, and screening information (required screening information is detailed here).
Alternatively, you can fill out my contact form. I look forward to hearing from you!